Tuesday, November 12, 2013
I don't know why... but for almost two years that little starting out intro has been stuck in my brain. Every time I think of going anything or saying anything to anyone or any group that matters that is the first idea I have. I usually go with it because it works. That is who I am... Andrew. What does Andrew mean... well that is another journey all together!!
My life hasn't always been what I wanted. Or I should say I don't always know what I want my life to be. What I want and what is sometimes still up for grabs... I am 30+ now and still really don't have much drive. I am not dedicated to anything strongly. I love and am loved and that is about all I generally need to keep myself in good shape. There are times when I get down and don't feel like things are going well. But most of the time that is when things are going so well that I feel out of place, literally out of ideas and out of things to fix in my personal life.
I am in one of those times. Good job, great girlfriend, money is in good shape, day to day is OK, and I am learning more every day than ever before. However... I still feel wrong. It is like the struggle of daily life makes me better than I am. Like just scraping and getting by makes me a better at being the person I really want to be. It seems to me that the complete picture of myself, Andrew, isn't really here right now. I am being lazy and my real self hates me because I am too comfortable. I remember the last time this happened... I made a bad choice and it has messed everything up ever since. The question now is what I am I going to do right now. What do I need to put forth the life chalenge to get me back in line.
Well the first step... a blog post... Check one off that list.
What should be next???
Monday, August 19, 2013
I am sitting here tonight a little 'tipsy'... But well in my right mind to have a discussion about the changes of perspective.
I have been down roads and paths in my life that were plan stupid when looked at from hindsight. But right now I don't believe I need to worry about that. Thing are just starting to become great again after two + years battling back from the setback in early 2011. Life is in good shape... Money is flowing in to the savings. Work is smooth and demanding and there is lots of it. Family and friends are having their ups and downs but rolling with the punches and seeming to pop out on top. Who could ask for more??
So it is time for a perspective change. I am not as young as I used to be. It is time to start thinking about what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life after work. I'm not sure what that's going to be at this particular point in time. I'm not old but I am also not young anymore. Starting to think about what I want to accomplish over the next 50 ish or so years is going to determine how I move forward in my life.
It is no secret, there is someone in my life right now. The kind of person that makes me want to think about what the future holds. Yes, I do know what that last sentence really really means and what it has the potential of meaning. It is been an idea in my brain for a while something that has meaning but has no words on stone yet. Is the time of trials right now... Meaning that the world can go in a direction and there is no controlling what he does. We must deal with the how things play out.
I'm into football this season, very much so. I really do like football. I join the fantasy football league with my company. Did a few for friend leagues last year but not with people I know. Battling those that you work with is an entirely new level of excitement and competition. There is just something about challenging the intellect and abilities of someone you know in a environment that is controlled yet endlessly unpredictable. It sometimes it shows you a new perspective of those you are competing against. I've already found out that people are not all that much different overall. We all deal with the actions and consequences of all of those around us. Almost like a weave pattern where one thread affects the one next to it which affects the one next to it. Robert Jordan did a damn good job describing that IDF about a singular individual and how it can affect everything in the world.
As I have learned about the world in the things within it, I have determined that one must always adapt and change his perspective on the world. For as you learn about things and people, the world becomes larger. Once perspective from sitting in a valley is that the world is small but the perspective when we've reached the mountain speak is very very different. For the mountain we may be at the top of isn't the tallest in the region but the shortest. It's a constant reminder that for every inch you learn or gain there are millions of inches or feet or yards or miles of information ideas and unseen world still waiting for us. Technology is one of those professions that is more perspective and knowledge driven then many others. As we learn we expand our ability to see other things going on within the technology realm.
Take cellular phones for example. Smart phones have been around for many years however in the past most phones were purchased on the idea that this is what it did and that was it. Now if you buy a smartphone you couldn't infinitely expand what that phone is capable of. You can even change operating systems. Mobile technology has become an expanded world for us IT individuals. So we must expand I'll perspective on technologies like email and instant messaging and how that works into our network environments. But he even on top of all of that natural expansion of Technology. We have our interpersonal growth. We learn 90 percent of a new system and we learn that there is huge volumes more information stuck in the last 10 percent then there was in the entirety of the 90 percent, at least from our perspective it was 90 percent, that we learned. That is the way of Technology and I assume is part of many many other careers and pads we as individuals humans take.
I think that's enough b******* for today. The perspectives in the ramblings on about other random stupid things. Always remember that no matter what you know now and how much you learn. There will come a time where you learn enough information to know that there is a lot more information out there to get.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Well there are changes and things in life have also helped add some pressures that might be adding to the sleep issues. I moved almost 2 months ago now... can't believe it was that short time ago. Time isn't going by as fast as it should with the amount of busyness I have been up too. These last 7 weeks feels like it has been 6 months or more. It feels like it has been over a year since the last time I was working as a level 1 on site tech but that changed only back in March to the new site. Then changed again to a multisite floating role a few weeks later. Then to a second level Systems Analyst a few weeks after that and that was only 3 weeks ago yesterday, Monday. Yeah... there has been some things going on 'round here.
I want to write on here more... but every time I have an idea or drive to do so I am never in a place to take advantage of it. I never have been able to take the time I used to and work on just getting my thoughts in to works like I used to. I think I am loosing my ability to do it. :( that makes me sad. It took a lot of time to build that skill and my ability to type it with some efficacy. Me + Keyboard + Spelling = ummm... most likely in bottom 1/10 of 1% in the world. But that is still better than where I was! Not to mention I hated writing anything or even the idea of writing anything. Now emails, notes, descriptions, instructions, and everything else I have to do in my work and life are a piece of cake! For all you students out there. Doing will make you better at what you do... no matter how mundane and random that is.
Well I have also taken up the banner of a few games. MMO style games that I almost swore... well maybe did swear that I wouldn't ever get in to. Now I am playing both Star Trek Online and Neverwinter with some surprising regularity. Right now I am on a Neverwinter spree and spend a few hours every week unwinding and forgetting about the world for a while. Not that anything bad is happening but it is nice to disconnect completely for a while from time to time.
eyes are starting to get a little heavy... yay... sleepy time...
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
I am missing those people that mean a lot to me right now. I don't know the exact reason why. There are more details than at this point... typing on my phone... that I care to admit to. The bottom line is... I just like being with those that I like and love. I just can't do it as mush as I wish to and I miss them dearly. Even this that I have seen just a short few days ago.
Good people are hard to find in any capacity!!!
And I did write this while sitting at the bar!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
What is happening in my life that is so good? Well I have been able to basically relax the last several months. The small amounts of stress I did allow into my life have all disappeared, replaced by even less stressful things.
My debt is now 100% paid off. Yeah the event in my life that started me on the path of creating this blog is now completely behind me. The emotional and intellectual stuff around that event have long been 'taken care of' and the lessons learned over that time are integrated into me. But, now that the money side of things is all cleared up, I feel like I am finally free of everything that happened, minus the knowledge I gained of course.
My job took a minor turn toward a more simple 8-4 almost responsibility free position getting paid the same money. Even if it is exactly the same position I had before but in a more hospitable environment. I can forget about work when I leave work now and spend more time at home. With my new found time freedom I have taken it to get caught up with TV shows and movies I hadn't finished watching. Started cranking up side business work to make some extra money.
I have also started dating someone. Well started dating isn't the correct description... I have spend EVERY weekend with her since I met her. She quickly became a reason to have time off work and not work 10 hours every day and at a time when I had the ability to take that time. I have fallen for her and she for me. We just seem to click, there is strong feelings between us but they don't seem to cloud judgment like I have experienced in the past with prior 'heat of the moment', as I call them, relationships. Something just seems more complete this time. I am all smiles when I think of her and it is a little unnerving the draw we have to eachother. Almost like fate really existed. I won't go down that idea fork road today...
I am also moving in a few short weeks. Really close to the new office location, actually inside Indy, the city that pretends to be a big city, but still better than out in BFE where I am now. I really do miss Phoenix. It is also cheaper to live in a nicer place in Indy compared to BFE. Rent isn't cheap around here at all anyway. Cost of living in this area is very high considering where you are, what is available, and the surroundings. A step up is still better than nothing.
All of this has also created issues and doubts about some things in life as well. Debt free, decent job, a significant other, and a better place to live. It made me start thinking about what is next... what should I start planning on doing next. Start working on a better job, more money so I can actually save some of it and retire at an age where I can still enjoy a few years of freedom from the daily grind. Should I be content for a while just existing and relax my entire self before plotting the next course!
What shall I choose... Who knows...
As for right this moment, I have a few friends out in the world that I miss, I am going to start reconnecting with my stress free time. I am also going to get back on here more, because just because I am happy doesn't mean I can't still write a decent blog. :)
P.S. this is a new blog location, I migrated it to a completely new service to help integrate some of my other social and interwebs things into it. So far I can't complain. :)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I will be editing this a little but please excuse any typos, miss types, or grammar incorrectness that you read.
I do this because. First, I am lazy. second, I am lazier than you. Third, I really at-home lazier then you.
So, this is what I've been thinking. The world isn't quite what it is I expected to be. The world I grew up in in my non-urban setting was not quite what I expected the non-urban world to be when I grew up.I expected to be the same as what it was when I grew up I didn't expect things to change. However things always change.
today the world is very different. Urban and rural lifestyles are exactly the same. To a point... We tend to believe that the digital world has penetrated every extent of human life but it really has not. We that grew up in the rural environment know exactly what I mean. Internet is not available to every person in the United States. You may believe it is what it really is not. We have lived a life of privilege by living with in the regions of the United States that do have what many regions do not. We have lived lives of high-speed and even ultra high-speed access to data that the rest of the world can only dream about or read about. We know information in an instant way, that is all we know. I grew up on a 56 kb per second connection that was really only reached 19.86 KB per second. I know what it is and my life to be slow in gathering data. in today's perspective, that is about .1 G of the new 4G scenarios we hear about.
Aside... 4G from each of the companies is not equal. Every company must be judged based on its own reputation. You can not judge company to company in the wireless world. Every company is a fruit of a different origin. An Apple is not an orange is not a tangerine is not a grape is not a Kiwi is not a mango is not a banana is not up each is not a raspberry…… Etc. etc. etc. you get the idea.aside over…
In today's 4G world we think of everything as fast but not everything in the world fast. Things in a very large portion of the global are very very slow. those who were privileged, and I don't consider myself among you because I didn't get Internet access or a home computer until I was over 15 years (circa 1997) old, were way behind the times of the world beyond our home town in the Midwest... Or so I believed. It turns out the world really is more behind than I thought. the choice of me becoming a technician in the information technology world was not necessarily a bad one. I know more about information technology then the information technology professionals I work for most of the time. And it is because I understand the information technology that I am able to do such a thing better than the average technician in this world. I know I know I know, I have a big head. But it is what happens when you are somewhat decent at the job you do. I don't consider myself the best, I know people who are better than I am. They are just very few and far in between. I would give my life to work for one of them. I did, at one time worked for one of them. I did not at the time realize what it meant. I do now and wish I would have paid more attention back when I was young. I already feel foolish in my mid-young age. I do not need to become old to realize my young foolishness.
Another topic now… The world of beer. I have realized that it isn't as complex as I originally imaged it. When I first got into drinking odd beers, as most people would call it. Or what I would call craft or good beers or being a beer snob. back in those days the world of creating a war brewing beer seems so much of a far-reaching exotic idea. Today I realize that there are thousands of breweries in this United States of ours. That means there are 1000 different ways of brewing beer X the number of breweries X that the number of brewers in the breweries. that means there are millions of different beers world. And I have only experienced a minor fraction of what is really out there. I am still one of the odd people that have experienced. In its most ultimate glory. I don't know how many different types of beers I drank my life to this point, but I am probably on the up words or at least 500 different types styles and creators of beer. I have had at least a dozen or more homebrewed beers, that you will never see or never even hear of. I have drunken bottles of beer that boggle the mind. Beer that is so alcoholic and content that it is banned from some states. Any beer that is banned from a state is on my top priority list. I do make a huge deal of trying different types of beer, and even never drinking the same beer twice in the evening, but in reality, I really do have a few favorites. Most of which you probably have never heard of. Left-handed milk Stout, four peaks brewing company oatmeal Stout, Stone brewing Company arrogant bastard, ale Smith Speedway Stout, great divide yeti Imperial Oak aged Stout, great divide Imperial chocolate Stout, Sierra Nevada imperial helles bock, four peaks kiltlifter IPA (wouldn't you like to see me lift my kilt ;)),
another tangent... Online dating! I've done it, or at least tried it. It is a little-known fact, but not hidden, that I met my first wife online. Not on dating site like we see today. On a good old fashion chat room. In a random connection of minds. I really do wish I would've understood then what I know about the human mind. The human mind is something different than everything else that exists in this world no two of us think or believe the same. We may show that we believe in what others teach us. We may believe that we do believe. But in reality to live as we believe we should takes more then curry time effort or even money. Real life takes everything listed above and add it in and full.