Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Year nearly over.....

Today I noticed an update on a friend's profile. It was a the type of update you expect a little closer to the end of this year as you start to thinking of the 12 month year coming up. The update was one of disappointment and realization of fallen ideas and dreams. It is the kind of change that makes you think of your own year and your own fallen dreams.

I started thinking about all that has happened this year. Even with all the life I had before the year 2008, this year was my worst and believe my best year of my life. It is hard to think about how good things are when so much has gone wrong. But sometime what has gone wrong causes what is right in your life. More has happened in this year than all 25 previous years of my life. The worst things in my life happened this year but at the same time the best things in my life also happened this year.


On January 1st 2008 I was a 6 ft, 210 lbs, 25 YO male. Today I am a 6 ft 165 lbs 25 YO male. I physically look different then I did those short months ago. I have moved in to a small one bedroom apartment from a huge 2 bedroom condo that I owned. I wreaked my MINI and it took over a month to get it fixed correctly. I have made drastic changes in my future plans. I have met new people that I now include in my plans for the future. I made giant leaps letting old friends know things that I never told them before. I have changed everything about who I am from the outside to how I feel on the inside. The importance level of almost everything has changed. I am no longer looking to what I is expected of me but I am looking to what I want and need for myself.


I started this year as a happy married man. I will be ending this year as a happier single man. It isn't the marriage ending that has made me happier... it is life itself that has made me happier. My outlook on life and my life itself has changed more then I knew was possible. I thought my life was perfect at the beginning of this year, but I learned differently. I learned what life really is about and what it takes to survive it. I learned how to live in the world that is real and not my own thought of what the world was. I have more confidence in myself than ever before. I have more life in me then knew existed. I am embracing life like never before. Honesty has become my first rule. Not that I wasn't honest before but I am more directly honest, I don't hide myself in any way. Questions are always answered if asked. No masks are worn to cover things that don't look good to the social world. I am a raw person because of what happened this year.


In short this year created the Andrew I always wanted to be and never had the guts or drive to create on my own. I am still learning how to be who I am today. I will be making mistakes and learning from them. I will never stop what has started within me this year. 2008 was a horrible year, yet was my best year. No matter what happens in all the years that come next, this year will stand out. I know life isn't as short as it seems but I am still going to live it as if that say was my last.


To all of you that have not had a that really bad year... You will just make sure you learn as much as you can from it as it will change your life.


Andrew