Saturday, April 4, 2009

To be alive??

The thrill of being alive. When you really think about it... knowing that we are alive is a miracle of biology. The search for how we came to be has driven us to grand creativity, made us question our beginnings, our faiths, and beliefs. It causes conflicts but it also brings people together in harmony. It can create and destroy. Do you think if we understood our origins it would make for a more peaceful existence? stopping there... not where I was wanting to go with this blog, but I went there for a bit, now on with my thoughts...

What do you think of when the question of your 'Life' is asked? I have spent the last several weeks thinking about this. I am still stumped as to what I think about myself. I know myself well enough to know that I will never settle on any answer to this. My thoughts will continue to evolve on this question and the answers I come up with will change who I am, hopefully for the better! This is the act of growing, of living. If this constant change didn't exist, would we truly be alive? The ability to change is a basic to existence... right?

These questions create other questions: Is it possible for someone remain the same for any extended period of time? We all have known people so well that we couldn't believe something they did. What they did or said was out of character. Is this the effect of these daily changes happening within each of us that we don't recognize right away? I know by looking at my life over a long expanse of time I see many changes. Some good some bad. I know by thinking about the process, these changes happened in small parts. Little things piling on top of other little things that cause big changes over these long term periods. You know, now that I think about it... The term is growth! I think we all underestimate our potential because in time we will not be the same person as we are today. We will grow to be more and our current plans will not include these unknown growths.

Take what happened today as an example of unseen growth: I made an argument with my MOM on a subject that is very very touchy within my family's religious beliefs. In years past I would have never done anything to argue about these beliefs. I never knew what would happen if I did. I guess I would say FEAR kept me in line. Today I made an observation from the perspective of a younger look at todays world. I gave my honest opinion and I think it took "some big cojones" to even attempt this. After, I was proud that I was able to make a case for my beliefs and not incite what I feared. I think this shows a level of maturity and thoughtfulness that I didn't even know I had.

We have all put our foot in our mouth at some point before. I do it all the time. I speak without putting real thought in to how others will take my ideas. I keep telling myself that raw thoughts don't always make sense to everyone and that everyone doesn't think like I do. I know this well yet it is still hard for me to break the habit. It isn't much different than trying to translate a foreign language the message isn't the same as it was originally. I can make endless analogies on this idea but we all have been misunderstood before and speaking before thinking is generally the cause. This is something that I will be working on in my future growth.

Defining life? First concept we MUST understand is each of us defines life differently. We have all heard the phrase "you should live life to isn't fullest". What many people don't take in to consideration is that each of us decides on our own what that means. I have received, on several occasions, criticisms on how I define my life. It is my life to define and following someone else's definition would make me less unique. I believe so many of us follow others so closely that we forget what it is to be an individual to be unique. Peer pressure is a bitch! But it also offers us opportunities to experience new things. Stuff we would have never thought of on our own or tried without the pressure. Evey force within life can be good and/or bad.

Everyday, from this point forward, when I wake up I am going to stop for a min and think about what it means to be alive for that day. I am going to think about what changed in me the day before. I am going to look at this new day as a chance to change for the better. But most importantly I am going to be alive!