Saturday, June 13, 2009

The 1 year old

I am a proud 1 year old infant blogger! It has been an up and down adventure through my thoughts and ideas displayed out here in the cloud. I have learned a lot about myself through this time and I have undoubtedly shown more of myself to many of you than I ever expected to. This was not my intention when I started to blog all those months ago. I started because I needed a constructive way to express feelings and thoughts and I never intended to publish them. I needed a place to go where my thoughts could be worked though in a way that wouldn't cause any problems. Making these public was at first an act of aggression, but it didn't have the effect I was looking for. Instead, it felt like I had dumped all my inner feelings and just let them all go. That feeling Of release is addicting and I am still doing it today. There are a lot of you that might read this blog now that didn't know me back then. So this may be a shock to you that when I started doing this... it truly saved me from myself! Now it wasn't the only thing that saved me, but without the blog over the long term I know I would not be the person I am.

Since I have started blogging my writing has grown and changed as I have grown and changed. I have learned to share emotions and thoughts and ideas in new ways. I am still am infant in my ability to write and share, but, for someone that truly hates writing I do fairly well, in my opinion. Well I should say used to hate writing! Blogging has taught me how to express myself in words. This is an endlessly valuable lesson and it took me a long time realize my new found ability came from blogging. I even partly contribute last years job promotion to the things I learned while blogging. Overall it isn't easy quantifying what I have learned during this adventure, but the effects on me are easily noticeable for those that knew me before.

I am not claiming that blogging alone changed my life. Allowing one thing to dominate the changes in your life turns you down paths that you will later regret. Many of the things that have shaped me during this adventure I blogged about. And as always some good things some bad things. Today, blogging brings me joy above almost everything else... I said almost!!! There are people and events that bring a joy and liveliness to me that I can't describe in words. So I have never tried. For those that know me best and for those trying to know me better; I hope this blog has shown some insight into me you couldn't get anywhere else. My only advise is to read beyond the words and try to see the ideas behind them. Because those ideas are the real reason why I sit here and type.


Andrew