Saturday, June 5, 2010

Escape from the fun days

Does everyone remember the fun days of being young? I do... but, now that I am more knowledgeable, I look back at those simple days and wonder why I thought they were fun to begin with. The more I think back the more I realize that the only reason they were fun is because I didn't know anything more existed. It is one of those times when if you knew more you would have done things differently and had real fun!! Maybe this is just a side effect of growing up being very closed off of the social world that existed in the towns and bigger cities.
In some ways I lived in a world cut off and was able to experience things other people only saw in movies or read in books. Living in a place where you could be outside yelling at the top of your lungs and no one was close enough to hear you is an experience I know few other people have had. If you can imagine living in a place where you could literally be the center of the world because you were the only one there. Now that I am typing my ideas... it really does sound fun time. I hear others talk about growing up in the city. The things they did and how they lived. I can't even imagine growing up that way and I am sure many people can't imagine how my life was out among the farmland.
It is amazing how the experiences differ between everyone. The stories of even those I went to school with were very different than mine. Many of the people I grew up with still live near where we all grew up. I am one of the few that moved away. It is hard not to think about it like I escaped something. Like I was the lucky one that got away. I know that isn't the truth of the situation, but it is what we think about when we hear that type of story. Escaping the small town to make it big somewhere else. Except in the movies many of these stories end in tragedy, heartache, and a genuine feeling of missing the simple life.
Personally, I don't count out the possibility of going back and living there again. Moving back to the simple fun life and wide open spaces. Just like the cliche, the problem with doing so is that I am part of both worlds now. I don't really fit in to the social norm of the city lifestyle but my life is too fast paced to live in the nearly stagnate rural world I came from.

It really comes down to the fact that I haven't found where I belong yet. I try new things and I am always working toward making myself a better person. I learn a little at a time. One day the right situation will present itself and my 'escape' will have come to an end and I will be exactly where I should be. The pursuit of life is not an easy one...