The past weekend I visited a church. It was the first time in a decade I had done so voluntarily. Weddings and funerals are about the only reasons I would step on holy ground. Even though I haven't visited a church of religion, it doesn't mean I have left my faith behind. Faith is a hard thing to describe for anyone. Those that have religion as there base have a solid starting point. Having faith without the religion is much harder to maintain. It takes hard work to constantly and actively think about what I believe, to update my own understanding of my beliefs. Religion seems to add to many guidelines to what faith is and means and what the faithful should do. I do not like these restrictive ideas that I remember growing up as a Catholic. My belief is that by even laying out such guidelines religion cuts people out because they don't fit the mold. Even at its simplest effect is creates the divides between people that lead to the destruction of other ways of life and done all in God's name. There have been more wars and death inflicted in this world in His name then any other reason. How can anyone ever have the understanding that God wanted them to kill everyone that doesn't believe like they do. Religion is flawed from its base because we as imperfect humans created it. Faith doesn't suffer from this same imperfection. Faith is not perfect because those that have it are also imperfect. We all make mistakes with the free will we have. We either learn and move on or we let them rule our lives and lose our faith.
So what is my faith, how can I describe it in a way it makes sense. First, I believe in a God. I don't believe he interacts with me on daily life scale. I believe in a God that is a grand schemer... He puts things in to motion only makes adjustments as needed to the scheme. At some point life was created on this planet. Somehow I can't believe it was just a random chance that the right chemicals and conditions were all just there at the right time in the right place. Interaction from something greater had to have occurred. God's interaction with the creation and upkeep of life to create what we are today been the foundation to many religions and it also the base for my own faith. Second, I believe in people and their ability to choose from right and wrong. The freewill to say no and yes and maybe. This freewill is what allows us to have faith. Without it what would the point of having faith.
I have spent a lot of hours thinking about faith this last several weeks. More so than normal at least. I am trying to define my faith further because I feel there is something missing in me and something tells me that this is the subject I need to work on to find it. We are all missing something at times in our lives... if and how quickly you find it is based on the effort you put in. Finding the right balance in your faith is a life long endeavor. I wish everyone luck. We all get to choose our own faith. Weather it be in science, religion, God, or gods. It is an individual thing and no two persons will have the same faith. My faith is mine and mine alone.