Sunday, October 10, 2010

Feelings

The word feelings can be used in many contexts. But the word is merely a poor word to describe ones emotions. People tend to throw around the word a little too casually. I think as a society we have some what disconnected the link between emotions and feelings in the context of language. We have found a way to talk about what we feel in to open without actually opening up our true emotions.
For a many years of my life I didn't know how to truly open my emotions up. It took a catastrophic implosion to release them. I am still working on understanding the feelings I experience everyday. I recently had an experience of a feeling I haven't felt in a very long time. I did expect it and I didn't even notice that it was there. There is a phrase "you don't know what you have until is is gone". When you notice the removal of something you didn't even know was there. It is hard to handle the confusion and shock. You do things that are just... well... stupid. You forget to think. It feels like you have lost your mind. I didn't realize what was going on at first. It took some time to gather my thoughts and work out the reason for the stupidity. I am now working on dealing with my problem. Well not really a problem it is more like a situation. When pain is due to emotional hurt it is very serious. Not dealing with the pain can cause long term distress.
Enough about me and my emotional distress. I am a survivor. I will figure this out and come out ahead as a better more knowledgeable person. But I will be short one lost feeling!!

Andrew

2 comments:

  1. What was the feeling that you had? What things did you do that were stupid? "I didn't realize what was going on at first." What was going on? It is hard to follow bc you jump around and don't just speak to the actual situation. I think if the reader had an example it would be easier to understand... although I know this blog isn't for the masses, it is for you to get your throughts out. Although.... it IS on the internet.

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  2. The masses don't mater to me. Expression does. Feeling is one of fear... the fear loss. The loss of feeling that can't be easly explained or described. Every time one jumps... and know you know this... there is a feeling of fear. To accept something out of your control.

    If I knew, I would have told you. It was the loss of something that I realized that it was there.

    Sometimes being in touch with ones emotions doesn't include the everything one doesn't understand. I can't describe the feeling that was lost, because I don't understand it. If I did then I would have been there with my heart in my hands. I have been through too many heart aches... I know not to do that. But it is times like these I learn that some times it may be worth it!

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