I know we all live with it from time to time. Some of us on a daily basis. Over the last few months my frustrations over the disappointments in my life, work, and just generally about the world have been growing more and more hostile. I find myself not allowing them to roll off me like I have taught myself to do in the past. Things just aren't the same here. I feel like I live in a unforgiving and hostile environment. The weather is always out to try and kill you. If it isn't constant rain, it is ice, snow, or fog. I don't think I have seen the actual sun in weeks. The people here don't make it any easier. The few that are actually good at what they do or are good people usually get a superiority complex and end up being complete assholes. The bar for being good at ones job is far lower here as well. I know why nearly everyone with a truly successful future leaves this place. Everyday I am reminded of why I left the first time and it just makes me more sad everyday that I was forced to move back here.
I guess I am just sick of being back at the bottom of the world again. I was in a good place not so long ago. I had potential... now it just feels like I am on a dead end road with no brakes. I don't know what is at the end but it isn't looking good. I miss the good times. I am working hard to bring them back.