Friday, February 17, 2012

stupid puzzles

I hate crossroads in life. The times when the choices presented in front of us are all grey and fuzzy but we still must choose a direction. Is it a time to start down a new path or do we just stop and observe the world for a moment hopping for bit of clarity. Making decisive choices has never been my strongest attribute and when I do I seem to pick paths that make sense with the information, details, and state of mind I have at the time. A few times now I have made really good choices. They have brought me great joy. But when looking at the past it is the bad choices we remember because they seem cause the most lasting effects. It takes longer to bounce back from the bad things that happen. We all get a little gun-shy when big choices come our way.

Over the last several years I have been more decisive. I have been making choices far in advance so that proper planning can take place. So that all the puzzle pieces can fall together and make the bigger picture work. The issue I have found myself in several times.. what happens when fate or situations arise that disrupt the puzzle. The picture you are trying to build is clouded and not as clear as it was before. This is something that I find hard to describe in the words that make sense. I am not talking about things that detour your path... I am talking about things that make you question the bigger picture you are shooting for. In all my life I have never really been able to paint a great picture of my future. I have ideas of what it want it to look like. But I have always been missing details. I figured as I move forward those details would emerge and become clear. I have found however that experience sometimes adds to the confusion and blurs the picture. My emotional growth has always caused the biggest changes in my view. Trying to build the puzzle when people keep tossing miss colored pieces in the pile doesn't make for a good-looking picture. So what to do... decide to stick with the original design or change it to include the new additional pieces. Every time to date I have lived to regret the choice I have made. Sometimes I didn't realize it for many years and sometimes I know instantly it was wrong. Some choices can never be unmade, cost dearly to change, or in my case, I am too stubborn to admit I was wrong until it is too late to change.

In the last year situations have forced me to put some emotional things aside because basic needs had to be fulfilled first. Food on the table and roof over head stuff. With that sidelined, I have been able to paint a very clear simple straightforward picture of the future. It is the first time I have had a clear picture in a while. It feels really good to have the basics out-of-the-way and not worried about anymore, to a point. But now all the other emotional stuff is back in play and everything is getting mucked up again...

So the world is bringing me back to one of those directional questions. Stop and take a moment to decide. Should I start a new picture, change to include the new pieces, stay on the path (second star to the right and straight on till morning). What choices we make change the picture forever.

As always... I might just be over thinking everything. :)


Wednesday, February 1, 2012


What is there to say... words makeup everything we know and believe. Most of what we share in this world is in the form of words. This blog is nothing more than words on a screen. That was read from coded words that only computers can really fully understand. The words you are reading have been created by one mind, added to a computer as codes, decoded and displayed to the creator to verify they are correct, re-coded to save the data in a format that the computer can remember, decoded by the retrieving computer for the reader, then, readers decipher the words, and meanings of the words. So in reality is anything we read real? The only real idea is the one at the beginning the one that started the reasoning and the notion of putting that idea in to words. This is a hard idea to grasp even for me. And I live in the logical world nearly every day all day.

So, no idea we read is complete. It has been changed not only by the reader's perspective but by the limitation of the words to express the writers idea to begin with. With that in mind... as I start thinking about everything I remember writing over the last years... it too has been altered by me just trying to put it to words to begin with. Just like right now the limitations of the words themselves can't express the ideas that I have about them because they can't express it completely.


Because we have developed 'the word' have we as a species changed our thinking patterns to match the words we have created. Have we bottled ours minds in to the limitations of written word. Is it possible we have created our own catch 22. Has expanding our knowledge and sharing that through the vastly inadequate words we have created caused us only to think within the confines of those words and thus restricted our own progress of evolution. Can we ever exist outside these confines anymore. Is it possible that the human race has created its own endless loop in to eternity.

Who knows... I don't. I enjoy expanding how I think by asking these very startling and unanswerable questions about the ideas that exist in the world we have today. Because of this worlds creations, can share data so easily now. And data availability has become an issue. If we has a human race do not stand up and protect the ideas we have about data and the ways we wish to use it then the world will slowly become censored. It will not happen overnight, it will not happen and show a startling contrast to the day before. It will happen slowly... bit by bit, one little word after another, until there are only meaningless words left.

Data is an idea that most people can't grasp. I am not talking about mass levels of information being passed from individual to individual... I am talking about the idea that, data, the information you are reading now will have no meaning because words themselves will have no meaning to anyone because they will not be used without first being changed to fit some pattern. Just as I have created a pattern of words to translate an idea from my head to the words you read.

I believe, information is the key to us as humans existing forever. If we as a species decide to make information gathering and knowledge growth our sole reason to exist... think of what might happen to the data we have stored right now. Having it freely shared, worked on to increase it, and distributed as 'common' information. It could change our entire species from being the greedy, self-centered, segregated people we are to the Utopian existence so many writers of words have described. This is an old idea. Many of the historical empires and civilizations were created in this way. All have fallen to one of the forms of human greed for some reason or another.
The idea of utopia is not a hard thing to imagine if you think about it. We all work hard at creating it. Within our homes, our workplaces, and even within ourselves. We strive to create harmony, or balance if you will, with everything we interact with. The information we share, store, and lock away has a lot to do with that. How many times has keeping secrets turned out good for you?

I started to write some random thoughts about words today and ended up talking about Utopia. Sounds logical to me... :)