FUCK everything... ok not everything!!
I have wanted to and attempted to just simply exist for a while. Honestly... it hasn't worked. Simply existing is just too simple a life for someone like myself. Take an example of my life, I have not gained or done anything of note in the last several months. My blog has suffered because I have no interest in typing... unless I have been drinking some beers and then I make no coherent sense. That has also been happening more often since my decision to just live and not worry about everything. I think it is because I don't have the ability to just not worry. I have to have something on my mind and making it churn at all times. Talk about a self stressed out brain.
My job doesn't help... I don't have to really think in my current job. I have become lazy.. more lazy really. In my day to day life, I have always been lazy.. but never in my job. Now I don't even need to put effort in to get the work done so it is starting to become a trap. I can't leave it without something to move to, yet, I can't move up because I have already rocked the boat a few too many times and people just don't like me. They use me but they don't like me.
I guess I just can't help but tell the truth as I see it. Most people can't handle the real truth or they refuse to look at it from a different perspective then a sugar coated rainbows and flowers way. I see good and I see bad in every situation. But I work in a world of logic... I try to make it interact with the real world in a way that makes sense to those that don't understand it. So I have to see more than just what is in front of me and expect anything and everything. Working in this world has given me experience in how to look at things from everywhere all at once. So truth to me is nothing more than the actual facts. When something happens, good or bad, there is some fact that is the root of it. Promises made that were not kept was caused by people leaving a job side with the job unfinished and before they were scheduled too. That is a hard fact that caused me to have to work extra hard to make up for that promise and get things working.
Ok this turned into a bitch session... stopping now. LOL