Monday, July 14, 2008

Long weeks...even longer weekends.

Good morning everyone.

So my work weeks seem to be getting longer and longer. Work is good we are not completely slammed like we have been the last several months. But, we are still busy. We have new people in our department that are starting to take some of the pressure off.

Weekends don't seem to stop anymore. I seem to always be doing weekend projects all week long. Could be caused by the fact I don't spend much time on the weekends doing weekend projects. I do have lots of fun with friends on these non-working weekend days. After all, that is one of the points of having good friends.

I have spent a lot of time thinking the last few weeks. There have been many new things happening in my life right now. I am taking a short break from dealing with the more complex things because of my recent move to an apartment and issues with the MINI. So the move went fairly well this weekend. I had some great people come help me. I am still sore from all the lifting. I nearly have the whole house unpacked. I am leaving several things in there boxes for a while. Don't really 'need' them right now and I don't want to do any anything major until I see how things work out in the space I have. I also found a new private owned coffee shop right down the street from where I now live. They French press ALL their coffee. They have a robust Sumatran that is to die for. No sugar needed!!!

Well I should start working now... My 15 min break was over a long time ago. LOL


Tuesday, July 8, 2008


Life.... What an interesting idea. What is life all about? Is that the question we all are trying to answer as we move about this world? I think figuring out the question is the hardest part about life. The answer is the simple part.

Ok, with life we all have regrets. Sometimes we have a chance rectify some of our regrets. No we can't change past... but sometimes your past finds you in the present and allows you to do something differently then you would have then. Here is the real challenge... did you learn from your regrets so not to recreate them again!!!! This is how my life feels right now. I am honestly happy with myself right now. More so than i have been in a very very long time. You know I spent the last several years of my life thinking I was happy... now i am happier. I am happier, yet daily life isn't all that different, I don't have millions of dollars, i am still not a rock star, no movie deals, can't even get a raise at work. I know what it takes to be happy now and all of that is just stuff and doesn't create happiness. I can't share with you what I found that makes me happy. It is something personal and each of us has to find it for themselves.

So life seems to give us the courage we need when we really need it. We each need courage to get through the tough times. But, some of us need courage in everyday life. I have never been one with very much courage. I can't do many of the things that make me happy because of this and it has always held me back. I am getting over this human weakness and replacing it with confidence. This confidence has changed me.

I am fighting for what I want in life not just settling for what life gives me. I am going to become that outgoing person that i have always wanted to be yet never could bring myself to do. I am changing in to a real person through my own eyes. Others have said they don't understand what is going on with me. That is because everyone on the outside only understands what you show them. We each hide a piece of ourselves from our friends and family. Sometimes we get luck and find a person that we can truly open up too and if we are really lucky we find several of these. These are true friends. We find out more about ourselves by sharing then by keeping everything inside and milling it over forever. I learned this way to late in my life. I don't think it can be taught, some people are handed a gift and learn as this as they grow up. Others like me figure this out later when life decides to change in ways we didn't expect. This change causes thinking and this thinking leads to learning.

I am lucky; I am very intelligent and can think through ideas like this using logic. However, I am very unlucky because I have a hard time looking at these ideas in an emotional way. Here is examples... imagine looking at this picture....

.,:;;++++++;:,. )iii+:::;iii))+i='
.:;++=iiiiiiiiii=++;. =::,,,:::=i));=+'
,;+==ii)))))))))))ii==+;, ,,,:=i))+=:
,;+=ii))))))IIIIII))))ii===;. ,,:=i)=i+
;+=ii)))IIIIITIIIIII))))iiii=+, ,:=));=,
+i)ii::, +)IIITI+:+i)I))TTTTLLTTTTTII))=,
:=;)i=:,, ,i++::i))I)ITTTTTTTTTTIIII)=+'
.+ii)i=::,, ,,::=i)))iIITTTTTTTTIIIII)=+
+=:))i==;:::;=iii)+)= ..:i)))IIIII)ii+'

and not seeing anything other than the symbols and letters that make it up, no image, no planet. I feel I miss the image most of the time.

Ok... I have to stop now... I am posting ASCII art.... there has to be something wrong with me... LOL...

Good night everyone. Sleep well.