Sunday, August 9, 2009


I have never been much of a reader. I read what I need to gather information but beyond that I would rather just sit and watch TV all day. TV has always been my favorite form of entertainment. In the recent past I have gotten in to listening to audio books. I started with books I always wanted to read, and in some cases started, but never really took the time or put the effort in to it. Lord of The Rings was the first series that I listened to. I moved on to Narnia and right now I am on the last book of the Dune Universe by Frank Herbert. I don't know if I am going to continue with the Dune Prequels and Legends or move to something like Jim Butcher's Dresden Files or Ender's Game.

Since I started listening for my entertainment I have found myself listening to more than just books. A friend of mine started a podcast. By listening to this cast I have found my way to other podcasts and new subjects I never really took the time to think about. It has also lead me to start actually reading more. Not books or newspapers, but blogs and forums. I have started to find resources to make it easier to gather what I like to read in one place. It amazes me that just by listening for entertainment, I have grown to be more well read then ever before in my life. I am exposed to more new ideas then ever before.

I think of myself as a very unique individual when it comes to the world and how I learn about it. I am someone that remembers almost everything I read and hear. I believe that is why I am considered by many people to be 'smart'. I have a hard time classifying myself as 'smart', well I have a hard time classifying anything. There are very few things that exist in this little world of ours simple enough to classified accurately. Since I remember details about a lot of things I can correlate between them and create new ideas based on that accumulated knowledge. This is something I do well because I believe knowledge in one subject can help you understand so many other subjects. The idea is not boxing yourself in, knowing something about object A doesn't mean you know nothing about object B. Now what doesn't this have to do with my podcasts, books, forums, or blogs? All the new information I am gathering is changing my perspective on many subjects. Even those I once had solid/unchanging ideas and perspectives on. My world is becoming more broad. I believe I am starting to truly see the world as a whole and not just my small little corner I was stuck in for so long. Well I didn't know it at the time, corners are hard to notice when that is all you can see.

So just because I started listening, I can again say: HELLO WORLD!!!


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Blogging as a hardship

It seems as if my blog, like many other things in my life, has recently become a hardship. It isn't that I don't have the time to blog it is just I haven't had the ability. I had several topics I really wanted to write about but when I actually sat down to do it my brain shut off and everything I put in to word made no sense. I like to ramble on and on at times (yeah I know I do it). Many of you that have spent time with me know this very well. There are certain topics that I can talk about for hours. I think of is as my nature to try and share what knowledge I have with anyone that will listen. But when I blog I like to have some constancy to it. It is weird, I think this idea is something I remember form many years ago from a grammar teacher, "You write English you don't speak it." I know this has nothing to do with following a topic in a blog, but it effects my view of how I write these blogs. This idea is one that I follow in different parts of my life. Sometimes the proper way of doing things can be ignored.

To this hardship thing really all boils down to this feeling over these last few weeks that the different parts of my life aren't jiving well anymore. I do not understand the feeling but I can see the effects it is having on my almost routine life I had before. I used to blog about changing myself for the better and those changes were both good and bad. I think I am now experiencing the bad piece of the good changes I planned and made for myself. Responsibilities I took on during this that time of "great change" are now bringing to bare their broadside canons! It isn't a surprise to me as I took these things on knowing full well this day would come. It is just a little different now that I am here. It also is a fact that I didn't prepare very well for this and now I am in a position where I don't believe I can escape as clean as I had hoped from the beginning. Time, is for the most part, on my side. But just like most things that exist in this world taking too much time can become painful and hard to bare. Take this blog for example, it took me 7 tries in the last month and a half to finally finish one worth posting. It was a hard time for me as writing and posting blogs is one thing ii pull strength from and not being able to write it made me feel weak. I hope with this post more than just my blogging will be back on track. I hope it strengthens me for the tasks in front of me and it helps me become the person I set out to become.

Sorry for the long delay, I am back now and there is a new smile on my face... for more reasons than the blog!!!!