Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Finishing last

When there is someone in your life make sure they are part of every thought and or decision you make. Think about what you do before you act. Make sure what you do doesn't effect them negativly. Do the little things right: like not waking them up in the morning because you have to go to work early, Be quiet and don't turn on the lights when they are sleeping. Work hard to provide what you can. Discuss things and make sure they agree before spending lots of money.

I used to think getting the little thing right was most of what it took to show 'love' for someone. But when they don't even notice what you do for them it really beggs the question if any of it even means anything. Don't get me wrong I think they are still important. Mainly because they are all things I would want someone to do for me. It is more about respecting the person you are with then the big idea of 'love'. I say this because I would treat everyone with that same respect, if I loved them or not, it is just who I am. Now I have a problem! If most of what I do to show someone I care I would do for anyone out of pure respect then there is little left for me to do to show them more. It leaves me walking a fine line from being an asshole or a caring person.

So for the last several years I have struggled with this situation. I haven't found the answer yet but I do know few things that don't work now. I always assumed when I was younger that when you "fell in love" it would just feel different and certain things would just make sense all of a sudden. That isn't how it works... there is the whole love at first sight thing that I still don't quite buy, but I am not ruling it out as possible yet either.

Maybe I just walked into a cause of why nice guys finish last. Because we are nice to everyone no one person ever sees how much we really do care. Maybe we have to figure out how not to be nice just to be noticed.


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